They are saying magnificence is within the eye of the beholder, however generally the beholder additionally has cataracts, which is the one manner anyone may presumably take a look at this factor and like what they see:
He needs he hadn’t seemed on the value, however I want I hadn’t seemed on the bike, as a result of expensive Lob that factor is atrocious:
Lug?
Lug!?!
That is what a lug ought to appear to be:
The issues holding that Bastion collectively appear to be one thing you’d use to prepare dinner fish on the barbecue:
Who the hell designed that factor, David Cronenberg?
However hey, you’ll be able to’t put a value on exclusivity.
Wait, really you’ll be able to, and it’s $27,000 Australian Quasi-{Dollars}™:
Bastion’s yearly output is proscribed to solely 100 bikes, with every mentioned to be individually engineered for the client.
Meaning the Panterra is just not solely very unique, it’s additionally going to be very elusive as every bike comes with a seven-month lead time.
Pricing for the Panterra begins from AUD $27,000 – or roughly £14,300 / $18,594 (plus transport/native taxes).
This looks like a very dangerous enterprise mannequin, as a result of anyone paying that a lot cash for a motorbike that ugly will demand the very newest expertise, but seven months is an eternity in Gravel Years, and on the present price of “progress” each single factor concerning the Bastion will likely be out of date earlier than you even take supply.
In the meantime, keep in mind the girl who was going to circumnavigate the globe through bicycle, although you completely can’t circumnavigate the globe through bicycle?
Nicely, she’s already bailed, and apparently you’ll be able to blame local weather change:
In reality between the local weather change and fairness the whole sport of biking could also be doomed:
The spectre of local weather change and rising temperatures has haunted biking – a sport performed out within the nice outdoor – in recent times, with races more and more vulnerable to excessive climate circumstances
In fact the Local weather Apocalypse is already gone its due date:
However do not forget that the Tour de France has solely lasted this lengthy as a result of they’ve gotten luckly:
In a brand new paper, printed right this moment in Scientific Studies, the researchers checked out the way forward for European out of doors summer season sporting occasions via the lens of the previous half century of the Tour de France, the country-crossing bike race performing as a near-perfect case research for the impression of local weather change and excessive heatwaves on summer season sport.
Wanting on the evaluation, the research suggests the Tour has been, to date, really fairly lucky to keep away from the historic July days that includes the very best warmth. That is, in fact, right down to probability and ASO can’t hope to proceed to be fortunate sufficient to keep away from excessive heatwaves and essentially the most harmful circumstances.
Oh, please. They’ve been placing on this ridiculous race since 1903, they’ve mainly received a small metropolis following them, they usually see extra docs throughout a single stage than most individuals go to of their whole lifetimes. They’ll be simply superb.
I imply positive, it’s already scorching over there:
In reality it’s the most well liked spring since they began preserving observe in 1900:
France skilled its hottest spring “since information started in 1900,” marked by a scorching early heatwave on the finish of Might, the nation’s climate service mentioned on Tuesday, June 2. “With a mean temperature of 13.8ºC, this spring of 2026 is the warmest ever recorded,” Météo France mentioned in a briefing be aware protecting the months of March via Might. The season broke earlier spring information set in 2011 and 2020, the climate service added.
However in the event you assume that sounds dangerous simply take a look at what issues had been like in 1900:
If the intense warmth didn’t get you then the rabies definitely would:
So mainly, in the event you had been trying to circumnavigate the globe by bicycle in 1900, you’d should abandon in France as a result of the air was too thick with soot from the cat crematoriums:
Rabies can be extending itself to the hundreds of kind of wild cats which infest the fortifications and the good cemeteries of Paris. To exterminate this pest some energetic measures have not too long ago been taken. At Père La Chaise traps are set each evening, and plenty of cats are discovered caught in them the next morning by the cemetery guardians as they make their rounds. Poor pussy’s destiny is then slightly a merciless one. A cat has 9 lives, and a cemetery guardian’s time is proscribed. So to settle the matter outright the guardian throws pussy nonetheless alive into the crematorium, the place the warmth is intense sufficient to get the higher of essentially the most tenacious existence fairly shortly. In fact this apply has referred to as forth violent denunciations from the lovers of animals, and I’ve no want to defend it. I solely belief that sentiment could not go too far, and that the plague of mad cats and mad canines from which we are actually struggling could quickly be ended.
But solely three years later they kicked off this complete Tour de France factor, and the very first stage was 467 kilometers lengthy:
The roads sucked, the bikes sucked, and it was scorching as balls, however no less than it beat sweeping chimneys:
So mainly in the event you had been fortunate sufficient to outlive the warmth and the rabies then possibly you may get a job sweeping out the chimney on the cat crematorium after which spend the summer season using a fixed-gear bicycle across the whole nation of France, win, and use the prize cash to purchase a fuel station. (I consider that’s what he ended up doing.)
That’s to not say I don’t fear concerning the future, however right this moment we’re higher off in just about each manner, and the one factor that actually terrifies me about tomorrow is the bikes:
First it was the AI street bike, now it’s the double decker 32-inch mountain bike:
Hmm, if solely there have been already a kind of handlebar that provided a number of hand positions… Possibly it may be paired with a wheel measurement that didn’t require the bar to be built-in into the headtube.
No, that will be loopy, what am I even pondering?