Mr. President! Let me begin this Cupboard assembly by thanking you for hanging the moon and organizing the nation, and the universe, in such an ideal means. The moon seems nice the place you place it. Every part you contact turns to gold, except you would like it to show to brass.
Now that we’ve got disbursed with the pleasantries, I do have a tiny query: Have you learnt that you’re additionally allowed to fireplace males? Actually, you’re! Males are allowed to go away the Cupboard too.
As one of many final remaining ladies on this Cupboard, I felt compelled to ask. Not for me, in fact. For my sisters!
I actually can not consider a worse place to have a feminist awakening than as a member of Donald Trump’s Cupboard, watching the departures of Pam Bondi however not Kash Patel, and Kristi Noem however not Pete Hegseth, and Lori Chavez-DeRemer however not Robert F. Kennedy Jr. In fact, that’s not what that is. I might sooner die than have a feminist awakening. Clearly, I’m conscious of the patriarchy, however I’ve all the time believed that I might make it work for me, personally, if I simply used the precise hair merchandise and smiled extra.
I’m simply questioning: Do I’ve a future right here? I’m doing all the things that everybody else is doing. I’ve a face. I’ve a jet. I’ve incompetence. I bathe the president with reward at each Cupboard assembly. (See above.) However the place is the ironclad job safety, the sense that, it doesn’t matter what I do, I’m nonetheless a vital a part of the crew? Ought to I be consuming extra? Snorkeling extra? Each?
I’ll say I believed that it could be totally different once I agreed to serve. I believed, Properly, this man has no respect for girls. However he additionally has no respect for any sort of particular person! I can construct on that. “Put me in, Coach,” I mentioned then.
Now there are simply 4 of us left. I actually thought that Tulsi’s willingness to conduct purges, peddle conspiracies, and forged doubt on the integrity of the final election would have endeared her to you extra. However I additionally thought that about Pam.
Pay attention, should you have been assembling a Cupboard purely on capability, none of us could be right here. That’s the good factor bringing all of us right here as we speak: Whether or not we’re male or feminine, previous or younger, white or nonwhite, the one factor that binds us is our shared absence of benefit.
But when I have been eliminating individuals for doing a nasty job, I would definitely choose both the man who’s bringing again measles or the man who’s bringing again the flu—two distinct guys, every of whom is placing tens of millions of lives at stake. For those who spun me round (please don’t spin me round; my hair shouldn’t be outfitted) on this room and I pointed at random, I might hit somebody deserving of being fired. Or a chair. Or one in all a number of fashions of a ballroom or an arch.
I do know you’ve gotten mentioned, “No scalps.” Are you working underneath the misapprehension that ladies don’t have scalps? This looks like the type of factor you may imagine. I don’t know anymore.
I’m no feminist. Clearly. I’m within the Trump Cupboard. However that is the type of factor that makes me marvel about his outlook on the world! Not that we’re making an attempt to record contraception as an environmentally noxious substance. Not the elevated degree of joking-but-not-joking about eradicating our proper to vote, or having households all vote collectively underneath the person’s steerage. I do know Pete Hegseth’s pastor is aware of what I’m speaking about!
I’m detached to all of that. I’m speaking about my very own private profession right here, and I do should marvel should you’re holding the incompetent ladies in your Cupboard to the identical customary because the incompetent males. Is that this some form of Girls and Kids First scenario? Are you actually going to attend for all of us to go away earlier than anybody else is allowed to go?
I assume I simply thought I might be safer right here—that if I joined up, they wouldn’t come for me. I’m not presupposed to be the one underneath the bus. I’m presupposed to be the one throwing different ladies there.