So the opposite day I posted about fellow getting old bike Web persona Lucas Brunelle, after which yesterday the YouTubes served me this:
Oh, Lucas.
Lucas, Lucas, Lucas.
To begin with, with all due respect, from one getting old rider to a different, you’re like 75 years outdated. What the hell are you doing along with your levers?
Look, I get it, slim bars and turned-in levers are at the moment modern amongst roadies. However don’t attempt to copy the youngsters. You’re sufficiently old to know that from about 1998 to love 2010 or thereabouts, highway racing handlebar setups truly made sense–you used bars that have been a centimeter or two wider than what individuals have been driving within the downtube shifter days, which gave you additional stability and leverage. And naturally you oriented your levers kind of parallel to one another and never all cockeyed like Señor Hacer de Manos right here:
Now everybody’s driving teeny bars and turning their levers in. Effective. Once more, if the kiddies wish to try this as a result of it makes them barely extra aero no matter then good for them. However for chrissakes, you’re a fantastic grandfather! Do you shrink the font dimension in your e-reader as you become older? No you don’t! Then why would you deliberately make your bike harder to trip? So you’ll be able to lay it down making a very extraordinary left-hand activate a suburban highway?
Why the hell is the godfather of outlaw biking movies, who has chased a few of the world’s craziest cyclists by way of a few of the world’s craziest streets, wiping out on the entrance to an out of doors furnishings retailer on a solo trip?
I imply positive, they do have all the things you want to your outside dwelling space, however nonetheless:
And high quality, there was a bit little bit of gravel:
However that will not have been an issue if solely he’d been driving an age-appropriate bicycle as an alternative of this…factor:
Critically, levers apart, an 86 year-old man shouldn’t have a saddle-to-bar drop like that. Everybody is aware of that the decrease your balls cling the upper your bars must be. Good grief Lucas, you have to be monitoring the speed of enhance of your scranus-to-testicle differential intently at your age and elevating your bars inversely, I assumed this widespread data!
Why do you suppose Ol’ Man Branson switched to flat bars?
[Branson’s hang so low he gets road rash on his scrotum.]
Sadly Lucas isn’t listening to the universe, which is telling him in no unsure phrases to Simply Purchase A Rivendell Already. As a substitute he tries to show his crash right into a instructing second and offers the world’s worst lesson in turning, chopping heedlessly throughout two lanes of visitors:
Why does he provoke his left turns from the far proper aspect of the highway as an alternative of transferring over to the left first?
Was he simply driving alongside when he was immediately overcome by an intense need for a brand new patio eating set?
Appears to me he must be getting in on the Platypus presale as an alternative.