Some individuals carry a lot knowledge, I make it some extent to pay attention each time they communicate or write. Rodger Dean Duncan is one in every of them. It’s no shock he has achieved phenomenal success as a world bestselling writer, former senior Fortune 100 enterprise government, and member of two prior White Home administrations. If you happen to’ve ever puzzled how he positive aspects such perception, this visitor submit — From Curiosity to Connection: The Artwork of Asking and Listening — reveals his secret.
It’s vital to notice that I neither accepted nor obtained any compensation for publishing this weblog submit. My sole function for publishing this piece is to share a beneficial useful resource with you.
–– Frank Sonnenberg
From Curiosity to Connection: The Artwork of Asking and Listening
As a younger boy, I used to be interested by most all the pieces round me. I peppered the adults in my life with a barrage of questions: Why received’t fish chew on lifeless minnows? How do you sharpen a noticed? Why are cucumber seeds planted in mounds? What makes thunder and lightning? Is anybody older than God?
My early academics, particularly my grandfather, at all times had a affected person reply — liberally seasoned with a heavy dose of frequent sense and generally a sprinkle of humor.
I carried that inquisitive nature by my faculty days and into my maturity. It served me effectively as a younger journalist once I interviewed attention-grabbing individuals like Lyndon Johnson, comic Jack Benny, Baroness Maria von Trapp, cardiac surgical procedure pioneer Michael DeBakey, historian Arnold Toynbee, pollster George Gallup, luxurious retailer Stanley Marcus, anthropologist Margaret Mead, and tremendous investor Warren Buffett. I traded jokes with artist/illustrator Norman Rockwell and mentioned residence carpentry with film idol Robert Redford.
In fact, I’ve additionally talked with hundreds of not-so-famous individuals. They’ve all had tales to inform and opinions to precise. I’ve realized one thing each time.
Sure, I’ve realized to ask good questions. However extra importantly, I’ve realized to pay attention. Actually pay attention.
Whether or not we’re interviewing a well-known particular person or chatting on the sidewalk with a neighbor, targeted listening is among the many most beneficiant presents we may give to different individuals — and to ourselves.
Right here’s what targeted listening does:
Builds stronger relationships. Exhibits respect and care, deepening private {and professional} relationships.
Enhances understanding. Helps you totally grasp different individuals’s views, lowering misunderstandings.
Improves drawback–fixing. Gathering all data results in higher, extra knowledgeable choices.
Boosts empathy. Really listening to somebody’s ideas and emotions fosters empathy and compassion.
Encourages open communication. Folks really feel secure and valued, making them extra keen to share truthfully.
Reduces conflicts. Helps stop misinterpretations that may result in arguments.
Builds belief. Demonstrates reliability and integrity.
Deepens studying. Absorbing data attentively improves information and expertise.
Will increase endurance. Listening encourages you to decelerate and interact.
Strengthens reminiscence. Helps you keep particulars and recall data higher.
Boosts creativity. Publicity to various viewpoints sparks new concepts and innovation.
Cultivates humility. Recognizing others’ insights reminds you there’s at all times extra to be taught.
Simply earlier than he died, my longtime good friend Stephen Covey (writer of 7 Habits of Extremely Efficient Folks — broadly considered probably the most influential private improvement guide of the 20th century) was collaborating together with his daughter on a guide titled Reside Life in Crescendo: Your Most Necessary Work Is At all times Forward of You.
I’ve taken that sentiment critically. I may have comfortably “retired” many years in the past. However I discover nice satisfaction in interacting with sensible individuals. And listening.
In the present day, I write a Forbes column that reaches tens of millions of readers. Most of my columns are based mostly on my conversations with so-called “thought leaders.” They’ve earned that appellation as a result of their views are taken to be authoritative and influential. They assume large they usually say issues value listening to. (I’ve interviewed Frank Sonnenberg a number of occasions.)
And in honor of Stephen Covey’s encouragement to “stay life in crescendo,” on my 81st birthday I launched my LeaderSHOP podcast. The conversations you’ll hear on my podcast are with a number of the smartest individuals round. I recognize their generosity in sharing their time in addition to their opinions. Test it out. I consider you’ll agree it makes for good listening and good studying.
With out a good query, an excellent reply has no place to go. So, ask good questions. Then, as Frank Sonnenberg suggests, pay attention along with your mouth closed.
Dr. Rodger Dean Duncan is the bestselling writer of CHANGE-friendly LEADERSHIP and host of the LeaderSHOP podcast. Click on right here for a free copy of his guide.
Take a look at Frank’s newest guide, Values to Reside By: Know What Issues Most and Let It Be Your Information
Are You a Good Listener?
Please depart a remark and inform us what you assume or share it with somebody who can profit from the data.
Extra Studying:
No matter Circumstances, What We Grow to be Is a Selection
Concepts to Rework You from Good to Higher to Finest
Life Classes: Grow to be The Finest Model Of Your self
In a World of Dangerous Conduct, a Name for Private Accountability
Frank Sonnenberg On Issues That Matter
You Are What You Eat … And What You Learn
Want a Decide-Me-Up? Attempt Values to Reside By
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