Those that obtain my weekly e-newsletter know that I write a brand new article every week that I ship out for free to these who subscribe. The articles are my means of connecting with my neighborhood and sharing info that fulfills my dedication to assist males and their households to dwell totally, love deeply, and make a optimistic distinction on the planet. The articles additionally handle points that assist me enhance my life for myself and my household.
Not each article is useful for all 12,000 present subscribers, however some articles converse to many, and some go viral on the internet and are learn by hundreds of thousands. That was the case with an article I wrote on February 3, 2017 titled “The One Factor Males Need Extra Than Intercourse Is The One Factor Ladies Discover It Exhausting to Give.” Inside a couple of months after it was revealed it was learn by greater than three-million folks.
The article started this fashion:
“What number of occasions have we heard the phrase, ‘All males need is intercourse?’ Once I was 17 years outdated I used to be certain it was true. Once I was 37 years outdated, I suspected it won’t be true. And now that I’m 73 years outdated, I do know it’s not true. Now don’t get me flawed, intercourse could be fantastic at any age, however there’s one thing that’s extra essential than intercourse, nevertheless it’s one thing that males have problem admitting and ladies have problem giving.”
“This understanding has dawned on me slowly and have become most evident to me in my males’s group. I’ve been assembly commonly with six different guys for thirty-eight years and intercourse has been a subject that has run via our discussions through the years.”
The boys’s group has now been assembly for forty-six years. 4 of the seven guys have died and solely three of us are nonetheless on the earth and capable of meet dwell. After we started assembly in 1979, there have been three guys older than me and three guys youthful. I’m the oldest now and I’ll be 82 in December. The opposite two guys are approaching eighty. We met yesterday and one of many guys shared that he had been requested by a good friend: “When you died tomorrow, is there something you’d remorse?”
He thought in regards to the query and admitted that there have been in all probability plenty of issues, however one there was one thing he knew for certain.
“The time I’ve spent with you guys within the males’s group gave me the present of a life-time figuring out that I’m protected — that nothing I say or do will ever trigger the fellows within the group to reject me.”
That’s precisely what I had written about within the unique article:
“So, what do males need greater than intercourse? We’ve all heard that girls must really feel liked to have intercourse, however males must have intercourse to really feel liked. Let’s look extra deeply at what it’s precisely that males are getting once they get intercourse. Certain, there’s the bodily pleasure, however there’s a deeper want that’s being glad. I name it the necessity for a protected harbor.”
When folks go to my web site, they see my welcome video “Confessions of a Twice-Divorced Marriage Counselor.” One of many seventeen books I’ve written was titled On the lookout for Love in All of the Incorrect Locations. It captured the challenges I had discovering actual, lasting, love. My current spouse, Carlin, will inform you that one of many most important causes she and I’ve been married for forty-five years now could be as a result of I’ve been in a males’s group for forty-six years.
We dwell in a world the place most of us don’t really feel protected. The surroundings that’s our life assist system continues to deteriorate, and {our relationships} usually really feel fraught with hazard and battle. Throughout my forty-six years within the males’s group, I discovered the protected harbor that I imagine we’re all seeking to discover in our love lives.
In the end, the protected harbor all of us crave is inside every one among us. We should study to like ourselves unconditionally, to know that we’ll settle for ourselves regardless of the errors all of us make being imperfect human beings. To try this, I imagine we have to be surrounded by household, mates, and communities which are wholesome and supportive.
AI, or synthetic intelligence, has develop into a big presence in everybody’s lives. Like an awesome deal on the planet right this moment, the response to AI polarizes folks. There are those that imagine at AI will resolve all the issues that people have created and result in a world magnificence and marvel. Others imagine AI will kill us all.
One of many true specialists I’ve discovered to belief is Mo Gawdat, writer of plenty of books together with Scary Good: The Way forward for Synthetic Intelligence and How You may Save Our World. Mo is the previous chief enterprise officer of Google X, a serial entrepreneur, and host of a profitable podcast, Slo Mo, the place I had the pleasure of being interviewed.
In Scary Good, Mo says,
“This e-book is a wake-up name. It’s written for you and for me and for everybody who’s uninformed in regards to the approaching pandemic — the upcoming arrival of synthetic intelligence.” He goes on to say that “this e-book can be criticized by specialists, however it’s not specialists who’ve the potential to alleviate the menace dealing with humanity because of the emergence of superintelligence. No, it’s you and I who’ve that energy. Extra importantly it’s you and I who’ve that accountability.”
In a current article on MenAlive, I wrote an article highlighting the work of two colleagues, Scott Galloway and Richard Reeves, who’ve taken that accountability critically. Although Scott, Richard, and I’ve very totally different skilled backgrounds, we’re additionally fathers of sons, and we share a priority for the well-being of all kids all over the place.
Scott Galloway is a professor of promoting at NYU’s Stern College of enterprise and a serial entrepreneur. He credit Richard Reeves as “my Yoda and knowledgeable on boys and males.” (Reeves is the Founding father of the American Institute for Boys and Males and writer of the e-book Of Boys and Males: Why The Fashionable Male is Struggling, Why It Issues, and What to Do About It).
In his just lately launched e-book, Notes on Being a Man, Galloway devotes a chapter to “Intercourse, Love, and Marriage,” and warns in regards to the risks boys and males are experiencing because of the rising use of on-line seek for intercourse, love, and intimacy.
“We used to satisfy potential mates in school, at work, via mates, and out on the planet,” says Galloway. “Not. On-line courting shares the failings with different applied sciences that scale our instincts. Algorithms are detached to social pursuits, and that, coupled with human nature, gave us January 6 and QAnon.”
In his No Mercy/No Malice article, September 5, 2025, Galloway famous “Loneliness is profitable” and cited the next:
“Leonid Radvinsky, the secretive proprietor of OnlyFans, obtained a $700 million windfall final 12 months, whereas the platform’s high tier of content material creators — largely girls — earn hundreds of thousands yearly. With $7.2 billion in annual gross income and simply 46 workers, OnlyFans could also be one of the vital worthwhile firms on the planet. The positioning is seen as a porn-centric hub the place males pay girls for sexual content material.”
Galloway concludes saying,
“Whereas OnlyFans is thought for its subscription mannequin, one-off transactions are driving 88 % of the income development. These ‘suggestions’ are an arbitrage on the disparity between the organic impulse to mate and the shortage of mating alternatives.”
And males pay a excessive worth in cash spent and feelings manipulated via on-line hope to search out somebody to fulfill our human wants for connection.
But it surely isn’t only a website like OnlyFans that issues Galloway. In Notes on Being a Man he appears extra broadly on the on-line world that draws so many boys and males.
“Courting apps type potential companions right into a tiny group of haves and a titanic group of have-nots,” says Galloway. “On Hinge, the highest 10 % of males obtain practically 60 % of the ‘likes;’ the comparable determine for ladies is 45 %. The underside 80 % of male Tinder customers, primarily based on share of likes obtained, are competing for the underside 22 % of ladies. If it had been a rustic, Tinder can be among the many most unequal on the planet.”
Galloway encourages boys and males to take dangers to satisfy folks in the true world, not the bogus world on-line.
“Lookup and round you if you’re out, to see if anybody catches your eye. Discuss to strangers. Be open to risk.”
Which may be simpler stated than finished. I’ve discovered that it’s straightforward to develop into hooked on the web world. As I described in my e-book, On the lookout for Love in All of the Incorrect Locations: Overcoming Romantic and Sexual Addictions. We have to assist boys and males in re-learning the talents to search for love in all the appropriate locations.
I admire you studying my articles, sharing them, and providing your feedback or questions. You may write me to Jed@MenAlive.com. I learn all emails and reply to as many as I can. You may subscribe to our free weekly e-newsletter right here.
“Will AI make us smarter or simply sooner fools? I’m betting closely on the ‘sooner fools’ consequence until we get very, very sensible about designing these programs to counteract our worst instincts, not simply cater to them.” Vivienne L’Ecuyer Ming