Okay, let’s get actual for a minute.
When was the final time you caught your reflection and thought, “Rattling, I look good!”?
If it’s been some time, we have to speak. As a result of feeling scorching—sure, HOT—isn’t about hitting some magic quantity on the size or wanting like these filtered Instagram fashions who don’t even appear to be themselves.
It’s about the way you present up on this planet. It’s concerning the power you convey right into a room. It’s about the way in which you carry your self when no one’s watching.
And at this time? I’m breaking down precisely find out how to step into your most assured, radiant, head-turning self—at ANY age.
Let’s go!
If that is your first time studying this weblog, right here’s what you need to find out about me: I’m a 47-year-old lady who struggled with my weight and well being for ten lengthy years, failing at food regimen after food regimen, till I lastly determined to take a radically completely different strategy.
As a substitute of beginning one more food regimen, I began researching. And I rapidly discovered that nearly every little thing we’ve ever been instructed about well being and weight reduction, about what makes us shed extra pounds and what makes us fats, is completely improper. We’ve been lied to for the final 70 years. And it’s had a devastating impact on our well being.
So I modified the way in which I ate. I finished specializing in energy and began worrying about HORMONES. And I misplaced 49 kilos with out weight-reduction plan or Ozempic or making myself depressing, and now I’ve saved that weight off for years.
However what I noticed by way of that journey was that dropping pounds wasn’t actually the tip objective. It wasn’t even concerning the quantity on the size or the dimensions of my denims. It was about how I FELT in my very own pores and skin. It was about having power and confidence and feeling like myself once more.
In order that’s what at this time’s episode is all about. It’s about getting into the most well liked model of your self—at ANY age. And after I say “scorching,” I don’t imply society’s slim definition. I’m speaking about being radiant, magnetic, and carrying your self with a lot confidence that folks can’t assist however discover.
As a result of right here’s the chilly, onerous fact—society has bought us this large lie that we in some way lose our “hotness” after 40. That we’re purported to fade into the background, cease drawing consideration to ourselves, and principally settle for that our greatest days are behind us.
And that’s absolute rubbish.
If something, I really feel WAY extra assured and cozy in my pores and skin now than I ever did in my 20s or 30s. I do know who I’m. I do know what I need. And I now not care almost as a lot about what different folks suppose.
I keep in mind a couple of years in the past, after I was at my heaviest—over 200 kilos—I went to a convention, and I felt invisible. I wore these large, dishevelled garments to cover myself. I didn’t make eye contact. I slumped my shoulders. I actually tried to take up much less house. And you understand what? Individuals handled me precisely how I used to be presenting myself—like I used to be invisible.
Quick ahead to at this time. Now after I stroll right into a room, whether or not it’s the grocery retailer or a enterprise convention filled with Bro entrepreneurs, I stroll in with my shoulders again, making eye contact, smiling, carrying garments that match me nicely and made me really feel wonderful. And the power I get again is totally completely different. Not as a result of I’m smaller now, however due to how I carry myself.
And that’s what I need for you, too. I need you to stroll right into a room and personal it. I need you to really feel so good in your pores and skin that it radiates from the within out.
As a result of this isn’t about self-importance. It’s about exhibiting up as the perfect model of your self—for you, for your loved ones, in your work, for every little thing that issues to you. Once you really feel assured, your complete life adjustments.
So at this time, I’m breaking down the 5 parts that I imagine make up your “hotness issue,” no matter your age, measurement, or the place you’re ranging from. And I promise you, when you implement even ONE of this stuff, you’ll begin seeing and feeling a distinction immediately.
Let’s begin with the largest one: confidence.
Confidence—The Final “Sizzling” Issue
If you consider essentially the most engaging ladies you understand, what have they got in widespread? Is it that they’re all an ideal measurement 4? Is it that all of them appear to be they’re 25? No.
Probably the most engaging ladies are those who stroll right into a room like they OWN it.
They’re those who aren’t apologizing for taking over house. They make direct eye contact. They converse with certainty. They stand tall. They personal their presence.
Your power is principally your billboard to the world. It tells folks find out how to deal with you. And whereas we will’t management every little thing about our look, we will completely management our power.
Right here’s a fast physique language hack that may immediately make you extra magnetic: Shoulders again, head excessive, make eye contact. Attempt it proper now—critically, even when you’re driving or on a stroll or no matter. Pull these shoulders again, raise your chin, and take up just a little more room. Really feel the distinction?
Your physique truly sends indicators to your mind. Once you undertake assured physique language, your mind begins producing chemical substances that make you FEEL extra assured. It’s a suggestions loop.
However maybe much more necessary than physique language is your self-talk—that little voice in your head.
Do you speak to your self like somebody who loves herself? Or do you continuously criticize every little thing about your self—your physique, your selections, your life?
The most popular ladies I do know aren’t continuously tearing themselves down. They may not be excellent, however they give attention to what they love about themselves as an alternative of fixating on their flaws.
I’ve this good friend, Susie, who’s arms down one of the assured ladies I do know. She’s helped me fully rework how I present up in my marriage, and all of it comes right down to how she talks about herself.
Susie usually tells her husband issues like, “I’m so scorching. You’re so fortunate you will have such a scorching spouse. You’re so fortunate to be married to me!”
And you understand what? He completely believes it. As a result of SHE believes it.
After I first heard her say stuff like this, I believed, “Wow, I may by no means be that ahead.” However she inspired me to strive it, to say related issues to my husband Chuck.
So I did. And it felt bizarre and nearly embarrassing at first. However the extra I stated it, the extra pure it turned. And Chuck’s response? Let’s simply say he was… very appreciative. Her perception in herself made her extra engaging to her husband, and the identical factor occurred with me.
This wasn’t about being immodest—it was about genuinely appreciating myself and never being afraid to voice it. And it fully shifted the dynamic in our relationship.
So right here’s my first problem for you: Look within the mirror at this time and say one thing good to your self. I don’t care if it feels bizarre or pressured at first. Discover ONE factor you want—possibly it’s your eyes, or your smile, and even simply how your hair seems at this time—and acknowledge it out loud.
“Rattling, my eyes look good at this time.” “I really like my smile.” “My legs are sturdy and so they carry me by way of life.”
This isn’t some woo-woo affirmation train. That is about rewiring your mind to begin seeing your self in a different way. As a result of hotness begins in your head.
And right here’s a easy mindset shift that modified every little thing for me: Begin performing such as you already really feel scorching. Significantly. How would you stroll, speak, and present up when you felt wonderful in your pores and skin? Begin doing that NOW. Don’t wait till you shed extra pounds or your pores and skin clears up otherwise you get that new haircut. Act as if, and your emotions will observe.
Robust is Horny—Why Muscle Tone = Confidence Enhance
Subsequent up, let’s speak about one thing that had a HUGE impression on how I really feel in my physique: power.
Power is energy. And I don’t imply that it is advisable to be some CrossFit champion or bodybuilder. I’m speaking about having sufficient muscle tone that you simply really feel sturdy and succesful in your every day life.
There’s one thing extremely empowering about having the ability to carry all of your groceries in a single journey, or decide up your grandkid with out considering twice, or go on a hike with out feeling such as you’re going to die.
And the science backs this up. Power coaching does some actually wonderful issues in your physique and your confidence:
First, it boosts your metabolism. Muscle burns extra energy at relaxation than fats does, which implies the extra muscle you will have, the extra effectively your physique makes use of power.
Second, it improves your posture. When your core and again muscle mass are sturdy, you naturally stand taller. And keep in mind what we simply talked about with physique language? Standing tall = instantaneous confidence enhance.
Third, it truly helps your physique handle stress higher. The extra muscle you will have, the much less doubtless your physique is to retailer stress as fats, significantly round your center part.
And fourth—and this one was a game-changer for me—power coaching truly makes you FEEL highly effective in a method that cardio simply doesn’t. There’s one thing about having the ability to raise a weight that you simply couldn’t raise earlier than that interprets to different areas of your life.
So right here’s my sensible tip: For those who don’t already raise weights, begin with simply 3 periods per week, 20 minutes every. You don’t want a flowery health club membership or difficult tools. Even easy body weight workouts like squats, push-ups (modified if wanted), and planks will make an enormous distinction.
And when you’re considering, “However Ruth, I don’t need to get cumbersome!”—let me cease you proper there. That’s not how ladies’s our bodies work. We don’t have sufficient testosterone to construct big muscle mass with out actually, actually making an attempt. What you WILL get is toned, outlined muscle mass and a metabolism enhance that may change how you are feeling in your pores and skin.
Belief me on this one: sturdy is horny. And it’s nicely definitely worth the effort.
The Power Issue—As a result of Drained Isn’t Sizzling
Let’s be trustworthy—you’ll be able to’t really feel scorching when you really feel like rubbish. Interval.
I don’t care what sort of make-up you placed on or what designer outfit you’re carrying—when you’re exhausted, bloated, and brain-fogged, you’re not going to really feel like your greatest self.
And I do know power turns into this valuable commodity as we become old. You is perhaps considering, “Effectively, I’m over 40, after all I’m drained on a regular basis!”
However that’s not truly regular. And it’s actually not one thing you must settle for.
Actually, I’ve WAY extra power now at nearly 47 than I did in my 30s. And it’s as a result of I lastly discovered what was draining my power and what was boosting it.
So let’s speak concerning the largest power killers—the issues which are making you are feeling drained and blah:
First up: blood sugar crashes. For those who’re beginning your day with an enormous carby breakfast and low, you’re setting your self up for an power crash by 10am. And when you’re snacking on processed meals, you’re on a blood sugar rollercoaster all day lengthy.
Then clearly poor sleep is an element. And I don’t simply imply not sufficient sleep—although that’s clearly an enormous one. I additionally imply poor high quality sleep. For those who’re waking up all through the evening or by no means hitting deep sleep, you’re going to really feel it the following day.
However one thing you may not understand can be draining you is dehydration. Most of us are strolling round chronically dehydrated, and it exhibits up as fatigue, mind fog, and even starvation.
And the very last thing? A sedentary life-style. I do know it sounds counterintuitive, however the much less you progress, the much less power you will have. Your physique begins conserving power as a result of it thinks you don’t want it.
However fortunately there are some simple power fixes you can begin implementing immediately.
One is to begin your day with protein and wholesome fats—not carbs and low. This may maintain your blood sugar steady and provide you with sustained power for hours. My go-to is eggs cooked in butter with some avocado on the aspect. It retains me full and targeted till lunch, with no crashes.
One other is to maneuver every single day. And I don’t imply some large loopy exercise. Simply transfer just a little, even when it’s only a 10-minute stroll within the solar. Motion generates power, and the sunshine has the added bonus of serving to regulate your circadian rhythm, which implies higher sleep at evening.
Then be sure you keep hydrated with water and electrolytes. Intention for at the least half your physique weight in ounces every day. If plain water is boring, add some lemon or cucumber to make it extra interesting. I personally add magnesium and sea salt to my water every single day. However hydration equals higher pores and skin, higher digestion, and higher temper.
And right here’s a game-changing power hack that’s a bit extra superior however SO price it: chilly showers or distinction showers. I do know, I do know—it feels like torture. However hear me out. Even simply 30 seconds of chilly water on the finish of your bathe provides you with an instantaneous power enhance, enhance circulation for higher pores and skin, and even enhance your temper.
Suffice to say, power is totally important to feeling scorching. When you will have power, you stand taller, you smile extra, you have interaction with folks, and also you present up as your greatest self.
The Pores and skin Issue—Your Pure Glow
Okay, now let’s speak about your pores and skin—as a result of it’s your largest organ and it sends fast indicators about your well being and vitality. Nice pores and skin has that pure radiance that makes you look alive, awake, and vibrant while not having a drop of make-up.
And imagine me after I let you know that absolutely the BESt factor you are able to do in your pores and skin isn’t shopping for some costly cream or getting Botox. It’s cleansing up your food regimen. Once you reduce out sugar and processed meals, your pores and skin responds nearly instantly. Irritation goes down, your complexion clears, and also you begin to get that pure glow that no highlighter can actually replicate.
I observed a HUGE distinction in my pores and skin after I reduce out sugar and began consuming extra nutrient-dense meals. The superb traces round my eyes truly diminished, my solar spots light, and the redness I used to have round my nostril and cheeks simply disappeared.
Take into consideration what number of costly skincare merchandise promise to cut back irritation, brighten complexion, and battle ageing. Most of them are principally making an attempt to undo the harm your food regimen is inflicting within the first place!
If you wish to take it up a notch, including collagen to your every day routine could make an enormous distinction in pores and skin elasticity. I put an additional scoop in my bone broth each morning. It’s excessive in collagen in any case, however then I enhance it much more. Inside about six weeks of beginning this behavior, I observed my pores and skin was plumper, my superb traces had been much less noticeable, and even my hair and nails had been stronger.
Past diet, listed below are a couple of game-changing pores and skin habits that price nearly nothing however make a large distinction:
One is facial therapeutic massage and lymphatic drainage. Simply spend 2-3 minutes every morning, earlier than you set in your serums or moisturizers, gently massaging your face upward and outward. It reduces puffiness, improves circulation, and helps your merchandise take in higher. You need to use a gua sha software or a curler if you’d like, however truthfully, your fingers work simply superb.
And talking of moisturizers, about six months in the past, I ditched my costly lotions for castor oil, and the distinction in my pores and skin is unbelievable. It helps take away age spots and hyper pigmentation, reduces superb traces, and is SO moisturizing. It additionally makes your eyelashes develop like loopy! I add a few drops of frankincense important oil, so it smells wonderful too.
One other nice behavior is dry brushing your physique earlier than showering. This exfoliates lifeless pores and skin cells, will increase circulation, and helps cut back cellulite over time. Plus, it feels unbelievable—like giving your self a full-body therapeutic massage.
One different professional tip–sleep in your again together with your head barely elevated. This prevents fluid retention in your face and helps keep away from sleep creases that may ultimately change into everlasting wrinkles. It makes an enormous distinction with morning puffiness.
But when puffiness is an issue, you can too wash your face with ice water. I at all times do that after I journey and it’s like an instantaneous facelift.
Backside line right here, when your pores and skin seems good, you are feeling good. It’s not about making an attempt to look 25 without end—it’s about wanting wholesome, vibrant, and well-cared for at any age. And the perfect half is, these habits create a cumulative impact. The longer you stick to them, the higher your pores and skin will get.
Model That Speaks Volumes
After all we will’t speak about hotness with out speaking about model—as a result of what you put on completely impacts how you are feeling and the way others understand you.
And I’m not speaking about following tendencies or shopping for costly garments. I’m speaking about carrying what makes YOU really feel wonderful.
When was the final time you up to date your look? Do you continue to have garments in your closet from 10 years in the past? Are you dressing for the physique you will have NOW, or are you both hiding in too-big garments or squeezing into issues that don’t match anymore?
One of many largest errors I see ladies make shouldn’t be dressing for his or her present physique. Both they’re hiding in dishevelled garments as a result of they don’t need to draw consideration to themselves, or they’re making an attempt to squeeze into garments which are too small, which is simply uncomfortable.
Neither of these choices goes to make you are feeling scorching.
So put money into some garments that FIT and FLATTER the physique you will have proper now. You need to appear and feel good at this time—not 10 kilos from now, not after you tone your arms, TODAY.
One game-changer for me was getting a correct bra becoming. So many people are strolling round within the improper bra measurement, and it impacts every little thing—how our garments match, our posture, our consolation degree. A correctly fitted bra is like an instantaneous makeover.
One other model improve that made an enormous distinction for me was discovering my private “uniform”—a go-to outfit method that I do know works for my physique and my life-style. For me, it’s a well-fitting pair of denims, a structured prime that defines my waist, and a 3rd piece like a blazer or cardigan. When I’ve this method, getting dressed is straightforward, and I at all times really feel put collectively.
Coloration is one other highly effective software. Carrying colours that complement your pores and skin tone could make you look extra vibrant, awake, and wholesome. And when you don’t know what colours look good on you, seize a couple of girlfriends and go get your colours performed. I did this with my workforce some time again and it was so enjoyable. I discovered that I’m a heat autumn so deep jewel tones are inclined to look the perfect on me—they make my eyes pop and my pores and skin glow.
However discover your energy colours and incorporate them into your wardrobe.
And cease saving your “good” garments for particular events. If it makes you are feeling wonderful, put on it now. Life is just too quick to save lots of your good things.
The opposite little issues that make an enormous distinction? Particulars. The jewellery you select, the scent you put on, the way you do your hair—this stuff may appear small, however they add as much as create your general impression.
I’ve a private rule that I by no means depart the home with out earrings. It’s such a small factor, however it makes me really feel put collectively and intentional. Discover your non-negotiables—the little touches that make you are feeling such as you’ve made an effort.
And by no means underestimate the facility of a signature scent. Scent is deeply tied to reminiscence and emotion. Once you discover a perfume that makes you are feeling assured and delightful, it turns into a part of your private model. Individuals will affiliate that scent with you, and also you’ll affiliate it with feeling your greatest self. Mine is Tom Ford’s Tobacco Vanilla. It’s undoubtedly a splurge, however each time I spray it on I really feel just a bit bit hotter.
And possibly that sounds dumb, however I promise these aren’t frivolous particulars. They’re indicators—to your self and to others—that you simply care about your self, that you simply’re definitely worth the effort, that you simply’re exhibiting up deliberately.
The Inside Glow—Proudly owning Your Presence
Lastly, let’s speak about what I feel is a very powerful factor of hotness: your internal glow.
The ladies who actually radiate—at any age—are lit up from the within. They’re keen about one thing. They chortle simply. They’re engaged with life.
Give it some thought—when somebody is happy about one thing, don’t they change into immediately extra engaging? There’s an power that comes with ardour and pleasure that’s undeniably magnetic.
I keep in mind after I first began Thinlicious. I used to be so fired up about sharing what I’d discovered about well being and weight reduction that I couldn’t cease speaking about it. And I observed that even at networking occasions the place I didn’t know anybody, folks had been drawn to me. They wished to know extra, not nearly what I used to be saying, however about ME. That zeal was magnetic in a method that had nothing to do with how I regarded.
So what lights you up? What makes you lose monitor of time? What do you like speaking about?
Perhaps it’s a interest, or your work, or a trigger you care about. No matter it’s, do extra of it. Prioritize it. Discuss it. Let your self get excited.
Or possibly you don’t know what that factor is but. Perhaps you’ve spent so a few years targeted on taking good care of everybody else that you simply’ve misplaced contact with what lights YOU up. If that’s the case, it’s time to begin exploring. Attempt new issues. Say sure to experiences that intrigue you. Take note of what piques your curiosity.
Having ardour and pursuits makes you extra fascinating, which makes you extra engaging. It provides you issues to speak about past the every day grind. It connects you with like-minded folks. It provides dimension to your life.
And it’s not nearly ardour—it’s about engagement with life on the whole. The ladies who radiate that internal hotness are totally current of their lives. They’re not continuously distracted by their telephones or ruminating concerning the previous or worrying concerning the future. They’re HERE, on this second, paying consideration.
Once you give somebody your full consideration, once you pay attention with out planning what you’re going to say subsequent, once you genuinely have interaction—that’s magnetic. That’s scorching.
And whereas we’re at it, let’s bust one other fable: that playfulness and flirtation are just for the younger. Completely not. A number of the most charming, flirtatious ladies I do know are of their 60s and 70s. They chortle, they tease, they have interaction.
They haven’t misplaced their spark—if something, they’ve fanned the flames.
I take into consideration my good friend Edie, who I’ve identified for 15 years now. However Edie is principally magical. She has this fashion of creating everybody really feel fascinating and particular. She’s interested by folks. She asks questions. She laughs simply. She touches your arm when making some extent. And let me let you know—she has extra admirers than ladies half her age.
She’s in her 50s now, however she has by no means stopped being fascinated with life. And once you’re , you change into fascinating.
That’s internal glow in a nutshell. It’s being engaged with life. It’s having stuff you care about. It’s being current and attentive. It’s letting your persona shine.
Your vibe is every little thing. And also you get to decide on your vibe. You possibly can select to hold your self like a lady who’s assured, glad, and answerable for her personal rattling life. Since you are.
That internal glow isn’t about being excellent. It’s about being current, being passionate, and being your self—unapologetically.
And possibly the perfect half? This internal glow solely will get higher with age. Whereas your pores and skin would possibly want just a little extra care at 45 than it did at 25, your internal mild can burn brighter than ever. As a result of now you understand who you’re. You’ve survived issues. You’ve received tales to inform and knowledge to share.
That confidence, that self-knowledge, that genuine presence—there’s nothing extra engaging.
Closing Takeaway: Your Hotness Begins NOW
So right here’s what all of it comes right down to: feeling scorching is a CHOICE.
It’s not about ready till you shed extra pounds, or get Botox, or hit some imaginary objective. It’s about deciding to step into your greatest power proper now.
It’s about saying, “That is me, and I’m going to personal it.”
It’s about specializing in what you like about your self, constructing power, boosting your power, taking good care of your pores and skin, dressing in a method that makes you are feeling wonderful, and letting your internal mild shine.
Is it at all times simple? No. Some days are more durable than others. Some days I nonetheless look within the mirror and give attention to what I don’t like. However these days are the exception now, not the rule.
As a result of I’ve discovered that hotness isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence, confidence, and power. And people are all issues inside your management.
So right here’s my problem to you: Choose ONE THING from at this time’s episode and begin doing it TODAY.
Perhaps it’s the assured physique language hack. Perhaps it’s committing to power coaching a couple of instances per week. Perhaps it’s beginning your day with protein as an alternative of carbs. Perhaps it’s shopping for a brand new outfit that makes you are feeling wonderful. Perhaps it’s spending extra time doing one thing that lights you up.
Only one factor. That’s all it takes to begin shifting your power and getting into the most well liked model of your self.
And by the way in which, when you’re desirous to take this a step additional and also you’re prepared to remodel your well being from the within out—I’ve a tremendous free coaching that may allow you to create a 12-month roadmap for sustainable weight reduction that doesn’t contain weight-reduction plan. It’s known as “Wholesome, Pleased and Free,” and yow will discover HERE.
However earlier than I log out, I need to let you know about ANOTHER venture I’ve been engaged on–one thing I’m SO FREAKING EXCITED ABOUT that I can hardly stand it.
It’s known as “Unstoppable Weight Loss,” and it’s fully completely different from something I’ve ever created earlier than. This isn’t simply one other program about what to eat or what to not eat. That is about fully rewiring your mind for weight reduction success.
As a result of right here’s the reality: the ladies who succeed long-term, who truly lose the burden and maintain it off, aren’t simply following a meal plan. They’re considering in a different way. They’ve mastered the mindset piece that so many people battle with.
And that’s precisely what Unstoppable Weight Loss is designed to do. It’s like having me as your private mindset coach, strolling you thru each psychological roadblock, each excuse, each self-sabotaging thought sample that’s saved you caught.
I’ve been pouring my coronary heart into this for months, and I can’t wait to share it with you. We’re going to be opening it up quickly, however if you wish to be first in line and get some particular bonuses after we launch, ensure you get on the waitlist. Simply go HERE to hitch the waitlist and be the primary to know when doorways open.
That is going to be a game-changer, good friend. I can really feel it in my bones.
As a result of let’s be actual–you need to really feel wonderful in your pores and skin—at any age, at any measurement, beginning proper the place you’re.
That’s all for at this time! For those who loved this episode, I’d adore it when you may take a screenshot and tag me on Instagram (@ruthsoukup) to inform me ONE method you’re getting into your HOTTEST self at this time.
And be sure you hit subscribe or observe to catch future episodes. I’ll see you again right here very quickly—however till then, keep in mind: Your hotness begins NOW.